Unmarried Bliss
by bananasplit92
Summary: PoT characters in the lotr setting. Tezuka and Fuji are engaged, and they have invited everyone to a party. Third Chapter up! The feast starts. My first fic, please R&R! COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own LOTR, and if I owned PoT, both Sakuno and Tomoka would have died in the most horrible way possible within the first 5 episodes.**

Unmarried Bliss

In the days following the War of the Ring, excitement was a hard-found thing, not that anyone went looking. The One Ring had been destroyed anyway, and it was pretty much common knowledge that everyone involved in the process now had a lifespan reduced by about fifty-odd years. So much for immortality.

Anyway, survivors were all lounging around leading their separate lives, occasionally remembering old friends (and or enemies) and every now and then reminiscing about the good old days when one actually had an excuse to hack and burn away all frustration; that was disguised in the form of an unfortunate in-the-wring-place-at-the-wrong-time orc. But enough of that. Let's get back to the story, shall we? Now, as we were saying, no one really went looking for trouble because of that bad experience brought on by a certain little hobbit. Until...

_Dear Friends, _

_Greetings from Gondor and hope you all are doing well. We (Fuji and Tezuka) are pleased to inform you that we are now officially engaged. Thus, we will be holding a party to celebrate, and everyone is invited. It will be like a dinner and dance, and will take place at our castle next Saturday from 5pm. Hope you all can make it, and we are looking forward to seeing you again. Please come!_

_Lotsa love, Fuji_

_P.S. Tezuka is away at the moment but he sends his regards._

This, of course, sparked off a rather varied sequence of reactions, ranging from "Free food!" to "A good opportunity to try out my new juice" to "Now, I will make them all succumb to Oresama's beauty!" Because yes, "everyone" in the letter had somehow branched to include the Dark Lord Atobe, who invited himself. Somehow.

Anyway, in the meantime, the message was being sent to everyone in and around Middle-Earth.

In the Shire...

"Ochibi! Momo! See, Fuji and Tezuka are getting married nya! Oishi, when's our turn?"

"Shh, Eiji, please keep your voice down!"

"Mada Mada Dane"

In Mordor...

"So! Their engagement, is it? Well, a party absolutely would not be a party without Oresama's revered presence. Therefore, benevolent Oresama has decided to grace this event out of the kindness of his soul."

Nowhere in Particular...

"Their wedding, I see. Shadowfax, my friend, if we ride at 43.58 miles per hour we should get there on time. But...There is a 68.73 chance that there won't be enough refreshments. Maybe I should offer to help out..."

On the big day...

The dressing room floor was littered with so many things, it was difficult to see which bits were actually supposed to be there. Yuuta, Steward of Gondor, looked on with a (very) pained expression as Fuji tried to decide what dress to wear for the occasion. Rather understandably, he was very disturbed. As one naturally would be when watching one's older brother try on white dress, silver heels, one of which had disappeared, and transparent blue shawl. "Do you really have to do this?"

Fuji, in the midst of locating the other silver shoe, looked up from bending to look under the dresser. "Why not? Yuuta, surely as the Steward of Gondor you of all people should know that one needs to dress formally when having company?"

"...I give up."

Fuji resumed his shoe-searching. When his father Sanada, King of Revendell, walked in carrying said shoe.

"Does this belong he- Fuji, what are you doing?"

"Looking for my shoe- Oh, there it is. Thanks dad"

Sanada hastened out the door shaking his head and muttering something along the lines of the rashness of young people nowadays and the headache the gave their poor parents. In his day, they never dared to so something this outrageous. But now...There was just no controlling these children. Ah, the things one had to put up with these days.

Meanwhile, in Rohan, home of the Horse-Lords...

"Jirou! Are you asleep again? You're going to Tezuka and Fuji's party, aren't you? You need to get dressed, we have to get going! Have you any idea how long it takes for us to get there? JIROU!"

Prince Jirou, now ruler of Rohan, awoke to the sound of his cousin Mizuki's nonstop reminders. Honestly, that guy needed to get himself a partner. He needed it and Jirou needed it. He needed someone to occupy Mizuki for at least a few hours each day so he'd be spared the incessant nagging. Then again, the matter of whether Mizuki would ever get a life was questionable ever since Tezuka turned him down for Fuji. Mizuki had never quite gotten over that.

But maybe since everyone was invited to the party, Mizuki would find someone he liked? Maybe, just maybe...

It didn't take long before Jirou fell asleep again.

Several hours later...

"Excuse me, have you seen Tezuka?"

The new servant tried to hide his shock/horror/trauma/terror/etc, etc as he glanced up to behold the sight of Fuji decked in the white gown, blue shawl and wearing sneakers as the silver shoes were too uncomfy to wear now.

"Not...not since he...left, um...sir." With that the servant scampered away as if his life depended on it.

"Thank you. Now where could be be? He did come back from that business trip this morning..." Fuji was more amused than worried at the reasons for Tezuka's absence that conjured themselves into his head. "Maybe he's...still asleep...hehe" The thought of the king of Gondor asleep in bed at three in the afternoon was more than funny. Especially since the image of striped pyjamas had somehow latched onto it. "Come to think of it I haven't seen Yuuta since this morning either...oh well. I'll look for him at the same time." And with that, Fuji started on the Journey Down the Great Corridor of Gondor. He soon came across a closed door behind which he heard voices. Leaning his ear against the door Fuji felt for a split second, that flash of conscience we all have when doing something immoral. But, being Fuji, and being officially bankrupt in the morals department, he swatted it away and continued listening. And what do you know, it was Yuuta's voice he heard. How lucky!

"I'm seriously starting to worry about this...habit of his. He's doing more often and it isn't exactly...good for him...or the household."

What good luck! Tezuka's voice came in reply, "It's not that bad. It doesn't harm anyone and at least he doesnt do it all the time."

"But Heika, you understand that cross-dressing just isn't..._normal_!"

Sneaking a look at our resident eavesdropper...

"Hmm...cross-dressing...I wonder which poor, confused soul that is? Why would anyone do that, I wonder?" Fuji tried thinking of all the people in the castle, and got more and more puzzled. There wasn't any cross-dresser around the castle. It must be one of the citizens. He forgot, of course, his moderately questionable attire. And not realising in the least the subject of their conversation. Who said prodigies had to be prodigies all the time, anyway.

"Just like Mitsu...always so considerate. Still so concerned about his people even on this special day. Well, I guess he needs to discuss his nation's matters in detail. This could take a while...I suppose I'll leave them alone."

That being said, the er...king...queen...of Gondor waltzed away down the neverending row of doors, to deal with the little last minute things.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi all, this is my 2nd chapter (inserts cheers) **

**Heh, I didn't plan this to be more than one chapter, really. It was supposed to be a oneshot. But after writing that much I was still halfway, so I thought I'd better break it into chapters. In chapter 2, the guests start arriving! I've been waiting to write this part. Enjoy!**

**I do not own PoT and if I owned LOTR, Frodo would be chopped up into little pieces and eaten at Aragorn and Legolas' wedding. If anyone would eat him, that is.**

**P.S. I know Jirou's character is supposed to be king by now, but I'm still calling him Prince Jirou because it's so much cuter. **

**P.P.S. Forgot to add this in the previous chapter. "Heika" means 'your majesty'. I learnt it off Kyo Kara Maou. Rather hard not to pick it up considering they say it every other sentence. Almost.**

Unmarried Bliss

Loud cheers greeted Inui the Green (yes, you know why 'green') as he rode on his pure white horse into the land of Gondor. Triumphantly carrying a huge jug of Inui juice, he waved it around, somehow not spilling it on unfortunate heads, and grinned to hear the cheers grow tenfold.

Yeah right.

Citizens and 'commonfolk' of Gondor were seen slinking away trying to hide their respective faces in dark cloaks or behind baskets of vegetables. Flustered and worried, they tried to get away as quickly as was humanly possible from that white beauty of a stallion which gave the viewer a very false impression of its rider, the terrifying evil second only to the Dark Lord Atobe.

Enter Inui the Green.

He had arrived early to help out with the predicted lack of...resources for the banquet. Of course, Tezuka and Fuji had not been informed of this. But Inui was sure they'd be grateful for his help. Some things just never change.

_Half an hour later:_

"No."

"Tezuka, you can rest assured that my juice is perfectly organic and nutritious. It will not harm anyone, I promise."

"All our close friends have passed out at least once after drinking your poison. Each time, you claimed beforehand that nothing would happen. I cannot allow this to happen again. Besides, I'm positive I saw an insect's leg in that..._thing_."

"Added nutrition. Weight for weight, insects have 500 as much protein as meat and contain no fat or cholesterol..."

"You will not feed this to the guests. This is final. And if you'll excuse me, I need to see Fuji about something."

Fuji stood jauntily at the front door of the great castle, ready to welcome the guests that were due to arrive soon. In fact, he could already see a few figures riding across the vast plains. Yuuta, the very tortured Steward, was not quite so happy. "You shouldn't be doing this. Have you any idea how horrific it will be to ride towards the castle ready to greet old friends, and see you dressed, or overdressed, in drag? You might give someone a heart attack. There's still time to change out."

"I must say that's never happened to me...But I'm sure with my friends' extraordinary abilities as shock absorbers, they'll be perfectly fine. I have faith in them."

"...I don't know why I even try..."

_Meanwhile..._

"It is long since I have seen this castle, but the absence makes it seem even more beautiful now. When I know my friends are happy, my heart sings with sharing their joy." Oshitari Yuushi, Prince of Mirkwood (yes, his dad _still _isn't dead) smiled as he headed toward the long-not-seen abode of his old friend Tezuka, and now also of Fuji. "I have missed this place. Seeing it now recalls a flood of memories both joyful and bleak." Being the dear Yuushi we know him to be, he still insists on speaking this way. Deep and calculated. (A/N. I'm trying to make this as close as possible to what I remember of Legolas' speech in the LOTR book) It was nice to get a break now, he had been working hard ever since his return to Mirkwood, not to mention shielding himself from rabid fangirls once he returned. Everyone in Mirkwood had heard of his incredible prowess in the Battle of Helm's Deep, apparently. (Squeal, so have we)

" Look Jirou, there's the castle, don't you think it looks so much better now, bathed in the happiness shared by Tezuka and Fuji?"

Jirou snored.

"Jirou! You were sleeping hours before we set off and you slept the entire journey! I swear, I'm starting to think you've got that strange disease that makes you do nothing but sleep." Mizuki poked his cousin in the ribs. "Ow." Jirou rubbed the sore spot and fell forward on his horse, dead with sleep yet again. Poke. "Wake up. We're getting there. We just have to cross this plain."

One of the most common contrasts we're always seeing in this world. Peace and feud. But on with the tale.

Fuji and Yuuta, who had long given up trying to reform his brother, were standing around enjoying the short-lived gust of wind when it ended a split second after it started, bringing with it Gwahir the Windlord, carrying what looked like four large packages. Four large squirming packages. Rolling off, the strange little lumps of brown folds sprouted feet and started running around saying "Are we there yet?" All except one. Which had also grown feet but sat around saying "Mada Mada Dane" like a broken record player.

The Fujis felt compelled to help their little...friends out of their rather tight wrapping. Wrapping literally in this sense because they seemed to have been packed and folded into the blankets like cargo. "Sorry," Gwahir apologised. "They were wriggling around so much I thought they would fall off. These three, anyway. The fourth...I thought he might try to push them off."

By now, the hobbits had been released from their wraps and were running around looking at "The flag pole! Look at the flag pole! I've never seen anything so tall in such a long time!" In Ryoma's case, bring dragged around by Momo like a suitcase might have been.

At this moment, a large gust of wind appeared out of nowhere and almost blew everything away. It went on for several seconds before clearing to reveal a very smug Dark Lord. Who proceeded to shake Fuji's hand while rambling on loudly about how honoured Fuji and Tezuka should be to have such a prominent and outstanding Very Important Oresama attending their engagement celebration. It appeared that, if possible, Dark Lord Atobe's ego had grown since they had last met him, just when they'd believed it impossible. It would also appear that he had learned the ability to transport himself anywhere at will. He wasn't called Lord for nothing, after all.

_When the party finally started..._

Tezuka, as always, was the picture of self-control and stoicism. "Dear friends, I am immensely grateful for your presence here today. I know you have travelled far to get here and again I express my thanks to you all." Polite clapping and such.

"It is also my great pleasure to announce to you that we have the attendance of a great and honoured guest today," Dark Lord Atobe got ready to do the president wave and pass degrading but dignified comments to the lesser mortals. But he didn't get a chance.

"It is my pleasure to present our informal Guest-of Honour for the night, a good friend I am sure we all know and respect." And as the guest-of-honour appeared at the table, everyone's jaw dropped.

_To be continued..._

**A/N: Man this is becoming a lot longer than I planned. I'm so long winded. But I just keep writing in all the insignificant stuff that wasn't originally meant to be there. Can't resist. Try and guess who the honoured guest is? Until next time!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again everyone! This is the 3rd and hopefully final chapter of this fic, heh. Wow. I'm surprised I'm writing again already. But what can I do, I was bored in History, bored in Math, bored in Chemistry, and bored in Literature. Romeo and Juliet should be banned. But I'm digressing again. **

**I found out that symbols like percent don't show up. Gah.(makes ugly face)**

**If I owned PoT, AtobeKabaji yaoi would be banned because Kabaji is UGLY. If I owned LOTR, Haldir would not die but survive to see the age of nose jobs.**

Unmarried Bliss

"SHINJI?"

"It's 'His Highness Shinji'. Honestly, just because the war is over everyone forgets all I have done to help them. Everyone now is so ungrateful to their benefactors, the world is becoming a more and more horrible place to live in, I don't know why I continue to let people show me such disrespect. Even my family never showed me any courtesy, they never let me have my private space. If it wasn't barging into my room at 5 in the morning to borrow makeup then it was banging on the bathroom door yelling at me to hurry up...(continues)"

"This is outrageous. I know he is the ruler of Lothlorien but why would this make him any more important than Oresama? Oresama was the ruler over legions of orcs, uruk-hai and berserkers. Surely you do not mean to say this Highness Shinji is in any way of higher rank than Oresama?"

"Atobe, shut it. You were the one who started the entire war in the first place. No one asked you to go make an evil ring. Or to inscribe 'Oresama will one day rule the world', either. It's more than enough that you run around shouting it to anyone who'll listen." It would seem that Yuushi had had enough Atobe to last him a very long time. (no hidden meanings)

Tezuka stood up to call for order before a massive food fight was started. (A/N. Honestly, anyone who didn't know would think this was a courthouse scene.) "We have come here as friends, not to fight. The war is over. It should not start again." Very Tezuka-ish. And Fuji just did what he did best. He sat and smiled.

Finally, the feast was started, and everyone was glad for it after the long tiring journey they had all experienced. An onlooker might have seen this as a display of all the different kinds of table manners available in the world. From Momo, who represented the 'has not eaten since the beginning of time' category, right up to Atobe, who stood for the 'should learn to live on something other than foie gras and caviar' category.

Our amazing array of people, as you can see, also serves to show you the various sorts of dressing you can find in Middle-Earth. If you will look at Fuji, that is the popular wear often adopted by the ladies of the house, very elegant and dignified. Then, take a look at the four small ones. This is Middle-Earth's most commonly seen travel wear, accompanied by the brown cloak and boots. Pay no heed to the one who is currently snoring gently with his face planted in the jelly. His is the typical dressing of most aristocrats in this area, only it has been grossly defaced by the fact that he fell off his horse due to the irresistible desire to quench his thirst for sleep.

_About an hour later..._

"Brother, did you have to give him quite so much wine? He's obviously suffering from too much alcohol."

"Yuuta, I know you are still queasy about people expressing their affections for you, but it's about time you found yourself a friend."

"I don't know if I want _him _for _that _kind of friend...He might try to attack you for taking Tezuka away." Staring at the now-asleep Mizuki who had been hitting on him earlier, Yuuta was pretty sure he didn't want this one for a boyfriend. He was...freaky. But soon he didn't have time to worry about that, as he tried desperately to fend off his older brother from smothering him in a hug for worrying about his safety.

Looking at the overall scene of the area, it rather resembled a relatively high-class bar. Some, like Mizuki, were dead drunk, and others, namely Yuushi, were amusedly watching Momo and Eiji had started the inevitable food fight, which succeeded in waking Jirou up. When all other methods have failed, it is the simplest things, after all. Said ruler of Rohan was now in a very un-dignified situation, covered in sticky purple jelly and mashed potatoes, taking aim with a hunk of turkey he had in hand. "Wake up, Mizuki, this is a lot of fun! You should come join in too...ow!" Ah, how the tables are turned. Then there was Inui trying to make people drink his juice despite the ban, and even the brooding one all bars must have. Ryoma was off sulking over something or other in a corner, drinking a glass of juice (no, not Inui juice) and saying something to himself. Who wants to bet it's "Mada Mada Dane"?

Ready to make the announcement, Fuji stood up and waited for attention. Momo, Eiji and Jirou stopped playing with food, (leaving scraps of jelly and other untold horrors dripping off their clothes) Atobe managed to stop complaining about the lack of quality of everything, and Inui, Ryoma and Yuushi simply turned around. The only ones who did not were Mizuki, who was still dead drunk, and Shinji, who continued muttering about how the race of people had degenerated into savagery, completely devoid of all manners. Satisfied, Fuji began the announcement.

"Tezuka and I thank you all very much for your presence here today. As it will be late when the party ends, and you all have far to travel, we have discussed the matter and we decided to invite you to stay here for a few days until you are rested and ready to start the return journey. It will also give time for some of us to regain their health," he said, glancing at an over-innocent Inui, "...and for others to recover from their, um..." glancing at a miserable Yuuta with Mizuki asleep in his lap, "...hangovers. Hope you will accept our invitation."

_And having said that..._

More booze was brought and the rock music turned on. Each person's face lighted up as the party began.

_End_

**A/N: Phew, it's a relief to have ended this fic. I thought it'd never happen. I had severe writer's block while writing this, so it's probably rather sucky as compared to the other 2 chapters. I think there might be some stuff I didn't explain or follow up on, but I don't know what, so bear with me. Heh, I might do a sequel to this, not sure though. But you'll know if I do. Hope you liked it!**


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